Last night yours truly was treated to a most excellent meal created specially for me by my incredibly tolerant and loving wife, Gina. Instead of being thankful like a normal person though the a-hole insecurity in me wanted to know why. Dicks been a bad boy you see, I’ve been nasty grumpy because of the diet and exercise stuff and have either been spending too much time with John, talking too much with John or doing serious blog related stuff with…..guess who…..JOHN! I have pretty much been ignoring my responsibilities, wife and kids. I did not however ignore the family dog. Hindsight is 20/20, bad move. Anyway, I really belonged in the dog house, not at the people table mowing down on lightly seasoned, smoky hot grilled portabellas drizzled with EVOO and accompanied with a side of perfectly executed jasmine yellow rice and mixed vegetables!
My dessert and the proverbial icing on this surreal cake was everything being ready when I walked in the door after a tough day at work and brutal self indulgent 50 minutes on the elliptical. Any aspiring gumshoe would have come to the same conclusion as I did, right? There must be an ulterior motive; something has to be amiss, who is she sleeping with? I needed answers fast but now wasn’t the time, it had to wait.
After I stuffed my face and was sufficiently sophonsified I sought the answers. With a full belly and not a single amarillo grain of rice left on my plate, I began eyeballing my wife with suspicion. I looked long and hard for at least 5 seconds for a “tell”, a “tic”, anything. Giving up I went directly to the kitchen sink where Gina was doing the dishes and humming a tune. You know what she told me? She loves me.
I love her too, with all my heart. She’s my best friend. Sorry John!
Ovvverrrrr Nnnn Out!
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